WORDS MATTER—SOME THOUGHTS
Words matter. Civility among people is a necessity in civilized society. ABC should be supported for cancelling Roseanne. I think we have reached a point in America that we must say “this is enough.” We will tolerate no more of this. We must return to civility.
When I was a therapist, I used to tell my couples that there were words that couples could never speak to each other if they intended to remain in the marriage. I called them unpardonable words. There was also unpardonable conduct. I used to tell clients that if they used these words or engaged in this conduct, they should only expect God to forgive them. My opinion has not changed almost fifty years later. When we fight or disagree with each other we do not make a personal attack with offensive words to disagree. The attack on Ivanka, on the other hand was personal and offensive. It was not racist. Whether racist or offensive, we need to stop these kind of interactions and communications with each other. They are offensive and unacceptable. We can disagree without being offensive.
Therapist teach people how to fight every day. It was part of my job if my clients had communication problems. Americans have engaged in poor communication with each other since 2011 or 2012. There have been few limits. I am glad that ABC appears to be returning to civility. Americans are better than this show’s leader was projecting. Her comments were racist and unacceptable. There is such intolerance for differences being accepted. There needed to be a limit set somewhere. They made the right move when they cancelled her show. Moreover, the personal attack on Ivanka distracted from the serious conversation about separating families who are seeking asylum in this country. These offensive words should never have been spoken. The apology was appropriate. However, some words, once spoken can never be taken back. They cause pain and hurt others. This ugliness must stop. This language and behavior has been normalized by the President of the United States. We tolerate language and behavior from him that is totally unacceptable in civilized society. He should set the standard and inspire us to seek our best and the higher good. Instead, he swims in the sewer and wants us to join him. Someone has to stop him and others like him. Americans have had enough of this. Words matter. We must stop using fighting and racist words that are denegrating and demeaning to others because of their race.
President Trump surrounded himself initially with racists,white supremacists and separatists. He threatened to cut federal funding for institutions who would not allow these groups with hate speech to speak on their campuses. He called the group in Charlotteville “good people.” Some were wearing the pointed hats of the Klu Klux Klan who were known domestic terrorists for lynching, rape, burning, murder, bombing schools with Black children in them, burning down homes, and bombing Black churches with people in them. Our President appears to be trying to normalize the most offensive language and conduct of these groups and others. Someone had to say, “this speech and conduct cannot continue”. The Roseanne Show had high potential for good and to show America another side of issues we are wrestling with in a different voice. It lost that chance with a racist rant. We cannot understimate the effect this kind of loose speech is having on our youths. This offensive language is making people engage in “crazy making” behavior by putting people in double binds. Children do not know what to think. We must return to morals when we felt we knew right from wrong. I would like to think that we need to return to the commandment: “love thy neighbor as thyself. Love one another as I have loved you.” We should remind people that words matter. There are unpardonable words and behavior that is never acceptable. We should not be seduced into thinking otherwise. We must return to civility and morals.
