When you are silent—-hear his whisper

The first time I heard the whisper I was about seven or eight years old.  I remember the day as if it were yesterday. I was sitting at the mailbox waiting for the mailman.  I thought I was a big girl.  Two white men drove up.  One opened the door and had some candy or money in his hand.  He beckoned to me.  I was terrified.  I did not know what to do.  I would not go toward these strange men.  My natural terror of white men in the south saved me.  Black girls did not seek out white men.  I was absolutely still and silent and I heard the words as a whisper on the sound current, “run away”.  I ran to the woods because at that time I thought I could fly.  I was so tiny that I could climb trees fast and move from one tree to another aka Tarzan.  Superman and Tarzan were shows on tv at the time. I would climb as high as I could and jump to the ground or swing on limbs from one tree to another.  I did not realize until years later that my angels were breaking my fall.  I thought I was hitting air pockets and landing smoothly.  I never received so much as a scratch no matter how high I was in the tree.  I climbed the tallest trees and jumped from high limbs. 

That whisper saved my life that day.  I heard the whisper many times after that . The whisper guided me to complete my social work degree first instead of law.  When I wanted to change and complete law first, the whisper would always say, you may need this.  The two most important times that I heard the whisper was when I got my letter stating that I lacked the requisite character and fitness to practice law.  I was crying and I felt things were hopeless.  The room was dark and only my weeping could be heard.  Suddenly, a blue oval light shined in the corner of the room.  A warmth or radiance came over me that I had never experienced before.  From behind me came the voice that said,  “you are not alone.  How dare you think that I would abandon one of my children.” I was terrified.  I did not know what to say.  I got up and ran to the bathroom.  When I came out of the bathroom, the music “like an angel was playing” and there was no radio or music on.  I laid down on the bed.  I was afraid to look at the person who was speaking.  He began to recite all the times that he had been there for me. I was reminded of the loan when I entered college, jobs that I got without interviews, a car when I had no down payment, insurance or license, etc.  Finally, he said do you remember the accident.  I did.  But when he said it I remembered sounds.  I heard the heavy sound of the flap of my angels wings as he broke my fall when I was hit by a car.  I was a pedestrian hit by car driven by a drunk driver who ran a red light and I survived.

 There have been many times when I have heard the whispers.  After I had given up on licensure to practice law, the voice came back to me and said, “It is time.”   I said, “No.”  I do not want to practice law.  I was told that I will never be licensed.  He said, “It is time.”  I went in and walked out of the Work Force with a $3,500.00 check to take the bar exam.  I sat for and passed the exam and was licensed.  I have learned to listen to the whispers.  So when I had my legal problem, I prayed for God to show me what I was to learn from this test.  Everything he does has a purpose.  I only have to pray for him to show me the purpose in this new trial.