THAI ON FRIDAY–REMEMBERING CINDY’S MOTHER

Cindy’s family meets for Thai on Friday. I got invited to Thai on Friday with the family. Cindy’s mother died recently. I have been unable to get her off my mind. I finally realized why the other day.

The first time I met Cindy’s mother, I felt like I had met a member of my family. She was Chinese but she could have been my mother’s sister. I could not understand why until she talked. She sounded like a Black woman. She made you feel at home. I felt like I was at the foot of a master. She began to tell me the history of the Chinese in America. I had never heard their history. She told me that the Chinese and Blacks will be forever connected in America. She told me how many states would not allow Chinese to attend school in their states. Blacks allowed them to attend their schools. They were either educated with the Blacks or they did not attend school at all. They were able to keep their Chinese values and were encouraged by the Black teachers to be their best. They were encouraged to attend college and attended Black colleges and they were successful. Cindy’s father stated that because of discrimination, he vowed that he would never work for another. Thus he owned his own business and so did many of his friends. He was a singer. Neither of Cindy’s parents felt like stangers. I understood the connection that Cindy and I always had. I could not get Cindy’s mom off my mind. Then I realized why. My mother and sister died around the same time. She was also family. I was feeling her loss as if she were a member of my family. Then I realized that she was my family as if she and my sister were family. She recognized it. She shared some of her experiences in the South. She told me of one experience which haunted her. One of her Black friends accidentally bumped against a white female on the street one day. He was hung in the middle of the town on the spot without a trial. She told me how unfair the judicial system in America had always been. We did not discuss my problem. We did not have to discuss it. She simply understood. She encouraged me to fight.

She died recently from the result of a fall in which she fractured her spine, hip, wrist and other things. She actually had two falls. She stopped eating and the family allowed her to make her transition. Her death reminded me of my grandmother who died at one hundred four. These were strong women who survived and achieved despite discrimination. Both women encouraged me to do my best and fight discrimination. These were two women–a Chinese and Black–who seemed to share many of the same life experiences. This was my lesson learned from Thai on Friday. We are more similar than we are different. We only need to talk to each other and we will realize how alike we are. I miss Cindy’s mom. She was my mother in spirit! She was 87.