Chemo Bonnet–A LESSON ABOUT MIRACLES

One never knows where one will learn life’s lessons. I learned a lesson the other day when I saw a woman in Krogers wearing the most beautiful scarf with bright colors. She told me this scarf signifies my “miracle.” It is a chemo bonnet.

I have come to understand that to a believer, I do not need to give any explanations about God’s miracles. There are two things I never argue about—religion and politics. You can never win there. No discussion needed.

My son and others hate that I am so warm and friendly to everyone even to strangers. I tell him and them: “I just can’t help myself. Hugs are free.”

Suddenly, she took off her scarf and brushed her head with its small dollop of gray hair. I was shocked but tried not to show it. “Are you okay?” I asked.
She said, ” Yes. I had a stem cell transplant. I have a very aggressive form of lymphoma cancer. I already have my miracle.”

She had my attention. I did something I used to tell my students to avoid at all costs. I asked her what they had told her about her prognosis.

That is my miracle. I have made my peace and prognosis is no longer important. I have lived more than three and one half years since my diagnosis.

We began to talk. She has been married for sixty years. Her husband recently broken his hip and has been in the hospital. She has been ordered not to drive while seeking treatment but she is in Kroger alone and she visits him daily.

“I felt so guilty about lying to the doctors and nurses that I told them the truth recently. They were so angry with me and were fussing me out when the head doctor came in and asked what had happened. I told him that my husband broke his hip and I had been visiting him daily. He said, “You go girl!”  I was so surprised.

Listening to her reminded me of Raymond Hill. Raymond died after living for two and a half years after his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. I shared his story with her. She nodded. “I understand why he did what he did,” she said. It was the intimacy that he had with his wife. My husband and I are closer than we have ever been. As she spoke I recalled scenes when Raymond and I were working and his wife would call and he would go and hug her and spoon her in bed. I used to say to myself: What must it be like to love someone so much that you would  spoon her in a diaper when she is bedridden and look like you are in heaven? Somehow without words we understood each other.

We stood there talking forever and not wanting the conversation to end. She told me that she was seventy eight years old and she had three children. I shared my white light experience with her. Finally, we hugged it out and parted.

She did not realize that she had inspired me that day. I got a new understanding of the word “miracle”.  For her it was a miracle that she had made peace and has lived for three and a half years with an aggressive cancer called lymphoma. She had been seventy five when she had the transplant. He doctor told her that he was not going to do transplants for anyone her age again. Seventy five is the cut off for transplants now at that cancer center. The insurance will not pay beyond that age anymore. I learned that we must live in the moment and treasure every minute that we have. Nothing is ever promised to us.

God loves my lady that I met in the store. She is too precious to lose! She received her miracle-she is at peace with whatever happens. I will pray for her and hold her in the light and know that God will give her the strength to cope with whatever she must face.

Look what admiring a scarf got me that day! I learned something new. That was the first time I had heard the word chemo bonnet!