Adrian Peterson—Some thoughts
The Adrian Peterson case confuses me. I have been a social worker for forty years. In that forty years, we have not criminalized punishment by a parent anywhere to my knowledge. It has been an accepted practice that a parent has a constitutional right to guide and discipline his child. He may punish his child even if he leaves marks. There is a long line of constitutional cases that have established this precedent. This case is establishing a new precedent. In my first three years as a social worker in Dallas I worked in the Family Unit of the Department of Public Welfare. I worked cases of six months or less. If there had been a complaint of abuse or neglect and the parent had been the one administering the punishment. We evaluated the situation and the family. As in this case, the punishment was not age appropriate by the parent, we would require the parents to take parenting classes. When the classes were complete, the case would be closed. We would not try to file criminal charges on the parent. The parent is going to always be the parent. We might supervise for six months and require counseling if the assessment warranted. Adrian Peterson’s case is different because he is a football player. There is more to this case, the facts do not fit. I get the feeling that the mother wants revenge against Adrian for some wrong. Adrian perhaps is not responsive to her. There is more to this story. This is not a normal child abuse case. Adrian Peterson is being exploited here. There can be no greater punishment than what he has suffered. His livelihood is threatened and his image of himself has been altered forever.
I was physically punished as a child. I vowed never to do that to my child. I reasoned that hitting a child only taught violence and had other consequences. I do not believe a parent should ever strike a parent in anger. I violated my own rule when my son was three or four, maybe four and a half. It was instructive for me. My son was told never to leave the yard. One day I let him go out and he left the yard. I searched everywhere and could not find him. I called and he did not answer me. I was frantic. It was over an hour before he returned. I saw him crossing the road and returning home. When he crossed the street, I met him and swatted him three or four times on his bottom and legs with my hand. I had never hit him before. It went against everything that I believed. When we got home, my son called a family conference/meeting. He had never called a family meeting before. I went along with it. I sat down. He started the meeting. “Are you stressed? he asked. ” Are you feeling well? Something must be wrong with you.” “Why?”, I asked. “You hit me today and it hurt,” he said. Something must be wrong with you. What happened to taking away my computer, my television, time out, sit in the corner, etc. ” I said, “you left the yard and you did not listen. Your little tail has been behaving bad and I was mad. You did not follow our rule.” He said, “I will listen and I will behave. Can we go back to our old punishments?”
My son and I had a great relationship. We still do. He would never curse me or anyone. As a child, when I went to his parent teacher conferences, the teachers would tell me how special he was and what a pleasure it was to have him in their classes.
All children are not my son. The other day I politely asked a seven or eight year old neighbor in the apartments to pick up paper that I say him throw on the ground. He refused. “Why should you care?” he asked. He did not pick up the paper. My grandmother always had a rule that you never walked by trash. Kids and adults just throw trash down on the ground in this area. It drives me nuts. This kid had such a nasty attitude. He is not alone. I do not know any child who would swear in their parent’s presence. Per the news, Peterson admonished his child while driving for swearing at his sibling. The report was that he did not strike him and he was driving. Any parent I know would have admonished their child for this behavior.
I was switched by my mother. Sometimes she made us go and get the switch. I would go and pad myself with clothing. Adrian Peterson was switching his child nude. I have personally never heard of anyone doing this. This was crazy. A child will run, hop around and get himself in position to be hurt or hit in the wrong place during a switching. A nude switching will leave marks. In this day of Protective Services, you never want to leave marks like you would with a nude switching. A child is not going to just stand still during a switching. My sister used to get diarrhea at the thought of a switching and let go over everything. My mother stopped switching her because of this. Adrian Peterson did not know about age appropriate discipline. He needs parenting classes. As a social worker, this is what would have been recommended. He did not strike the child in his face, hit him with his fist. He struck him with a belt or switch. This is discipline. It is conduct that should not be criminalized. The prosecutor wants to make a reputation here. He is stretching the law. It does not apply here. We have never called this kind of punishment abuse in the south. I heard Adrian’s mother and father on television yesterday. They would not have been able to advise him. They taught him this method. I used to tell my parents that “I am hurting you because I love you” makes people crazy. Why not meet them with love instead. Today’s kids are like the neighbor kid. They do not listen and get an attitude. It sounds like Adrian and the child’s mother have a hard/soft thing going. Adrian is too hard and she is too soft. Counseling is needed for the parents together. Since they are not together, this is not possible unless the judge orders it. In Texas, this would have been required with the divorce. So I am assuming this did not happen. A certificate used to be required with the divorce. Even if it were only a paternity case, injunctions could have been included in the order. The mother could have gone to court and gotten supervised visitation if she were feeling unsafe with his discipline. He could then have been required to take parenting classes and counseling for him or the family. This case is falling way outside of the norm for the behavior in question. Accidents happen. That is why we call them accidents. Accidents will happen during a switching. Parents have to be careful when they are “high profile.” People have camera’s trying to get pictures. I had a client from Iraq once who reports her mother hated her husband and deliberately created wounds and took pictures of them to get back at her husband. We do not know what happened with this child. We know that this is not a normal reporting case by parents. Parents do not report themselves. They run the risk of the child being removed from the home. This is a case to get media attention or punishment. This is not a case to correct a problem. Nothing about this case is normal. From start to finish, it is extraordinary. When media attention is the case. Look for agendas. Protection of the child is not one of them. I can understand the agenda of the NFL. Losing sponsors affects the bottom line. The prosecutors wants to make a reputation and get publicity. The mother has an agenda. It is not to protect her child. She had lots of other options that did not include the media. Do not think that prosecutors in racist cities care about black children or justice. Montgomery County has a racist reputation in Texas. I had a client in Beaumont where the parent was incarcerated for over two years for alleged injury to a child. The child was injured during birth. The parents obtained a lawyer who sent the hospital notice of suit. The hospital doctor filed charges against the father. Child endangerment charges were filed against the father and he was placed on a high bond for what the doctor had done to the child to prevent him from recovering for the birth injury. I tried this case and got a mistrial. When the case was set for retrial, it was dismissed. Charges should never have been brought in this case. Charges should never have been brought in the Adrian Peterson case. I am glad that he had the money to get a good lawyer. This case has an easy fix. Has anyone heard of Parenting Classes?
